martha's heaven

Silly me, I have no idea of someone's heaven or hell. But I could make believe. So, from here on in, let us pretend. I was talking to Mike the other day...a man I never met on this plane...and I asked him, what's it like being dead. There was no reply. I asked him again and of course you probably know the answer. He didn't say the burden was lifted, he actually said nothing at all. I surmised it was because he was still mad at me for posting his picture on the internet. I should have given him credit for snapping a shot of that old barn...or was it an old mountain...damn my memory is so shallow. I imagine his wife is pretty sad. He left without saying goody-bye. Or maybe he did when he uttered to her...good night honey, I love you, I'll see you in the morning. Death is so stupid.I'm not dumb, I know we all have to die, but death pisses me off because of its timing. There's this sweet line from an old song that goes: I love you in a place where's there's no space or time...but guess what, it's not so sweet now that you're really gone. You fucking piece of shit you. And now, even though I believe we will meet again, I'm really not sure. We took a vow that mentioned something like... until death do us part, actually I'm not even sure if we said that, or we both had our fingers crossed behind our backs...or maybe most of our relationship was unspoken when we committed to one another, or maybe you never really existed and this pain that I'm feeling now is not really real. Regardless, I have this void and real or not, I want some sort of sign from some sort of nebulous entity that there's more to this than just simple faith. I want you GOD, to shout me a message from the heavens of my dreams. Amen. And if this should happen, it's Tom's heaven too. & ours too.