visibly representing existence

We're only dancing on this earth for such a short while. I'm not sure where this is going. I'm still in a pissy mood. I left North Carolina the other day with a huge unresolve and today I find out that Martha's husband Mike has passed on too. Yes, everything passes. But at times, there seems to be a freeze frame of sadness. So I'm thinking nothing stops, not  even death...and yet, certain events seem to stall greater than slow motion. Stupor comes to mind, like the one I can experience in a dream. Like when I'm running away from something and my fleet feet seem suddenly to fail. I become suspended animation until I awake in a startle. The unsettled heart pounding relief to the dumb brain. Phew, it was just a dream. Actually, I had a dream last night and I was having a conversation with a man who just died. And I asked him....can you tell me what death is like? And he said, it's no different than this...except that I don't wake up anymore and have to do all the stuff that I had to do. Unfortunately, I woke up after not getting more questions answered probably because I had so many things to do today. I did mow the lawn, I went to the bank and the supermarket, & I did visit my wife's aunt fanny. It almost seems like it was a full day. And even if I said I did absolutely nothing today and it seemed empty, it was still full of what it was regardless of how I defined it. I'm somewhat chuckling because something is telling me that I may never know. And really, I'm ok with that too.