a certain affinity

I like not knowing who god is. It makes things wide open. I don't have a problem with atheism or agnosticism either. Who the hell am I to buttonhole god into a definition. And yet, I believe in god. Or better yet, I believe in goodness, which is probably an offshoot of god. I don't believe in magic though, which is weird, why wouldn't I? I'm not one for hope, but overall, I'm quite optimistic. A lot of times I feel as though I'm a man of little faith, but I pray daily. God forbid that I'm a hypocrite. I can keep a secret and I can lie with a straight face. Which is weird too because there are times I'm telling the truth and I'm being accused of lying. Although, you can trust me. I don't steal. But I would, if I had to. I'm honest that way. I'm a catholic and I will die that way. And why not, because that's the way I was brought up. I like Mary in all her guises. I like a lot of the saints. I think it's cool to believe in saints. I think it's cool not to too. I would like to see Mary Magdalene in a tutu. And then, when she and I were done dancing after a few glasses of the second round of wine, I'd ask her to remember a lot of my friends who have asked me to pray for them...or their concerns. And we would both pause in our debauchery and kneel down beside the bed and we'd pray and pray and pray to god only knows who, while knowing our intents were honest and true. Well, I really can't speak for her. Although why not, she is a part of me. And the child too. God bless....god bless.