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October 2009 
why didn't you phone
Posted on Aug 17th, 2008
by 
maze
maze
I wuz gonna but I was so stuck in awe that I lost my mind. I am generally pretty good at letting folks know where I'm at, but I must say , that I've had a few screw ups too. Unintentionally of course. I sometimes leave my phone at home, or I leave it in my car. I consider a phone a shackle. Seldom will I answer our home phone...and when it goes off in the middle of the night it gives my heart a start that doesn't know there's such a thing as rest again. Discourtesy call...what the hell is that. I think I possess a form of phone courtesy though. I never have my phone on ringer ...I'm a perv, so I like the vibration in my pants. I will seldom take my phone out of my pocket even while vibrating unless I'm anticipating a senseless call from someone immediate to me asking a simple and direct question like...did you get there ok. But now that I know how to text because I got a phone with qwerty I can always excuse myself, go to the bathroom, and instead of looking in the medicine cabinet...text my wife. Oh fuck, my phone just fell in the toilet. Are you OK in there. Yeah yeah, I'm alright, I just forgot to put the the toilet seat up and I dribbled a little bit on your seat. Use the tissues by the sink. Vibrate, vibrate, vibrate...who the fuck is calling me now. Bonk! Oh fuck, I just hit hit my head on the medicine cabinet. Do I dare open it up to see if there's some peroxide in there. Nah, tough it out. What the hell happened to you...it looks as though you may need some stitches. Give me your cell phone so I can call 911. Why call, let's just drive there. I don't drive, and you won't either with that gash. Well, call 911 with your phone. I can't, it's been disconnected. Shit like this happens every 3 minutes and 58 seconds..longer than it takes to make a soft boiled egg.
THE BEATLES - ALL I?VE GOT TO DO
Access: Public
Tom, that photo just stopped me in my tracks. Gorgeous! Please tell me where you took it? I was amused by the title of the blog (considering my blog title of today), amused by the Tomstreamofconsciousness of it, as always…
You are just hilarious Tom. I enjoyed that. I'm just imagining your gash lol
Hi Nicole! I love that word: “Tomstreamofconsciousness.” Year of the word award! :) My hope is that if I DO drop my cell phone in the toilet that it will be Before and not After, unless it's Totally After the flush has flushed. And agreed, that's a very cool picture.
photo taken near Zoar Valley…Springville, NY..just south of Buffalo 58 km
Tom, you are such a Classy Guy –most guys don't bother to wipe the seat or rim when they dribble.
Warning - some people booby-trap their medicine cabinet with marbles - when nosy guest open it, the marbles come clanking out. BUSTED!!!
As a friend, I am just warning you……
tom … yet again you had me laughing out loud and wiping the tears! Yes, “Classy Guy” !!!!Is indeed one who wipes his dribble and/or cell phone dripplings off the seat …
Maze Fan Club? What shall we put on our t-shirts?
my phone is NOT a shackle. it's like a magic wand. I would never, ever drop it in the toilet.
and I feel left out because I don't have a medicine cabinet. all our stuff is right out in the open for everyone to see. probably more than they'd like. :-)
but I do booby trap my locker at work – really not on purpose – just that I stuff more stuff in than I ought to and it makes it a little bit of an adventure to open it.
I nearly peed myself laughing at this one Tom. Thank you mostest. Your bathroom scene is going to be in my mind for a while.. that & mimi's words made me think of this lil stunt
tara….that clip had me laughing this morning….thanks.
LOL “well look who joined the party”
maze you slay me- in the best way poss. I'm waking up with a laugh this morning. trying to figure if this was somehow connected to the sexaphone comment from yesterday….
and mimi, I'm LOVING the marble trick how funny would that be?!
Maze we have a phone cuz I see a bill that shows up once a month.I have a cell phone too…another bill.
Both are hidden away in bureaus,or the bottom of my purse.
The home phone rings exactly three times before you here me say…”OOOPs not answering”blah..blah…blah.
The phone might get answered 1 out of 15 times
My cell makes a cricket sound so it never gets answered….I'm good at returning calls though….
I read your blog more than I ever answer the two phones combined…
I'm going to get an iPhone maybe I'll answer it more often…or maybe I'll just read more blogs
what's ya number, lololol.
Loving the morning laugh! It's good to know that I'm not the only person who doesn't answer the phone. My son actually recorded a very loud “Answer your f*$%@ing phone!” for his personal ring. It got a little embarrassing when I was out in public so I took it off, but I must admit that I did answer the phone for him.
Mwahahahaha (evil laugh)…….
If one day, we all phoned him,
he could vibrate for 24 hours ooooooooaaaaah
hey, phone me instead…..lololol
I think this qualifies as Phone Sex.. ;>)…oooooaawwoooh
Ya mean every time I have my phone on vibrate I am open to phone sex….wow, wonder if I can go back in time…..lolololol
Now you have me laughing LOUDLY. When I was an event coordinator I had a plethora of phones and radios hanging off me. When I jumped in my van I would take them off so I could sit comfortably.
Because I loved my music loud I switched the equipment onto vibrate and shoved 'em between my thighs so I could feel when I was needed on the air waves. Now I realize what I was missing out on!!!!!!……lolololol. All those thousands and thousands of miles of ??????? floating off into the ether.
oh my god…….now I keep thinking back to that time we talked on the phone…..this is putting things in an entirely new perspective! Trying to wrap my mind around all of this, except I'm laughing too hard. !!