cleverness

I don't know much about haiku's but one day I thought I would write one. I had a professor who discouraged us students to write a haiku. He probably knew we'd butcher the attempt simply because we were unenlightened. Uneducated and uncouth too. My haiku was more of a spoof than an expression of experience. It was a yearning to know the truth, but a knowing full well, that it could never meet the standards. It could never be the finger pointing to the moon. Or the whack on the side of the head with a bamboo stick. "Springing from the earth to catch the sun, the corn goes up and pop it goes."  I signed it Orville Ruzami. We all know who Orville is, and Ruzami is me...I Mazur...backwards of course. That's the clever I'm talking about. Aunt Joan died today. I wrote about her in November...check her out by scrolling back. (Nov 19) I  knew she was inching towards a new dimension, so that's probably why I wrote in such a cryptic manner yesterday. I was preparing myself for today. I got a call from the nursing home at  2 o'clock in the morning. The phone startled me in such a manner that I was unsettled for the rest of the night. They told me that her time was near. I had the option to zip down to the nursing home and watch her breathe her last hurrah. I had visited  her in the afternoon and bid her well and decided that I'd only disrupt the process if I went in there only to say something jarringly stupid at a time of subtle transition. Instead I stayed in bed and prayed. A half hour later they called to say she was dead. End of story. No, not so.I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about losing someone I really cared for. And I kept thinking and I kept thinking until I fell into some crazy hellish dreams. It had nothing to do with an old aunt who just died, it was just a reminder that I too must pass this way and some day reach up and touch the sky again.